


A Lockdown Romance

by nightbirdssidekick



Category: Call Me By Your Name - All Media Types, Glee
Genre: 2020, Angst, Coffee Shop, College, Crossover, Crossover Pairings, Future Fic, M/M, Music, Pandemic - Freeform, Romance, lockdown - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:01:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27085276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightbirdssidekick/pseuds/nightbirdssidekick
Summary: In the middle of a raging pandemic, Elio and Blaine find each other and lose each other again. Will a year as cruel as 2020 allow a happy ending?
Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Elio Perlman
Kudos: 11





	1. Elio

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: The characters in this story have to deal with serious pandemic-related problems.

Let me tell you about 2020. Looking back at it now, it almost seems like it never really happened, like a dream. It was a lost year for many, just a blur, or cinders and smoke, but not for me. I will never forget that year.

I had moved to Southern California the year before to study composition at one of the best schools my family could afford. It had been my father’s idea, not the subject, but the country. My plan had been to study music in Paris or London, but my father told me I should go to the US instead. “Elio,” he had said, “you have to go and explore your roots.”

Which roots he was referring to, I didn’t know. Technically, I was an American citizen, but I had no connection to that country whatsoever, except maybe for one, and that was actually rather a reason to stay away from there.

A couple of summers back, an American student had spent the summer with my family because my father, a university professor, always needed help with his research. That student, I barely recall his name now, first seduced me and then dropped me like a hot potato after going back home to the States.

There’s nothing more to be said about that, except that I was forced to admit to myself that I’m more into men than women, a realization that made me feel more like myself. That’s the only thing I would thank him for, if I ever saw him again, but I probably won’t. Back then, I deliberately chose the West Coast, knowing that he lived somewhere in New England.

After arriving in California, I moved into a part of town that was close to the beach. I picked up skateboarding and lived life to the fullest. I shared my apartment with another European student who was barely home, so I got to enjoy my privacy at home and a lot of company outside.

People liked me and I was invited to parties every weekend. The frat parties were the best because those lunatics usually lived in huge houses with high-end pianos and some of them literally stuffed dollar bills down my shirt when I played for them.

There was a lot of alcohol and there were a lot of guys. Sometimes, one of them would look at me just that little bit too long and I would know. We would end up in some room upstairs. Everything was fun and casual.

At school, I excelled. The professors were intrigued by my skill, my Europeanness, and maybe by my dark curls as well. My first six months in California were probably the most narcissistic time of my life. Whenever I talked to my father on the phone, I thanked him for sending me off into this country of sunshine and superficiality. Times were good. Until the end of the winter quarter.

In March 2020, the world as we knew it changed abruptly. A world-wide pandemic struck and the everyday life that everyone had taken for granted was annihilated within a few weeks.

I don’t really know where to begin because it’s so unthinkable now. They closed down about everything that was fun, from most shops to cafés to gyms to clubs. They even closed the freaking beaches. You had to stay home, you weren’t allowed to meet other people anymore and basically everything that was still going on in the months to come was happening online.

My roommate Cesar had gone home to Spain during the break and he never came back because all flights were cancelled and borders were closed. For the first time, I was pissed because he was gone. I was incredibly bored. Two strings of my guitar were broken, the music store was closed and the ones I had ordered on the internet didn’t arrive for weeks.

I was also worried because my parents lived in Milan and Northern Italy was hit particularly hard by the pandemic. That’s also why they hadn’t asked me to come home, and, at that point, going home wasn’t even an option anymore because international travel had come to a standstill.

The part of town where I lived was basically empty. All students had gone home to their families when it had still been possible. The few people who remained stayed home. It was like living in a ghost town. I often took my skateboard and rode around the neighborhood when I couldn’t bear staying inside anymore.

When the spring quarter began, the university campus stayed closed. All classes were taught online, even the music classes. I had to set up my laptop next to my keyboard, so my instructor could see me play through the webcam. I hated it. When I thought of how much money my parents spent on this program, it almost made me sick. There I was in a small apartment, alone, trapped, playing for a woman in front of a laptop who was trapped as well, only that she was stuck somewhere in Wisconsin.

It went on like this for weeks and weeks. I don’t know how I survived. I watched so many TV series, I read a couple of books, I skated through the empty neighborhood and to the beach that I was only allowed to look at from afar. I tried to write some music, but my creativity had basically died.

Of course, it was hard to be entirely alone in 2020. I still had my phone, people were texting me like crazy because they were just as bored. I spent hours video-chatting with them, but I hated those screens more and more. I wanted to punch them, destroy them. I think I was pretty much depressed.

* * *

In June, things started to look a little better again. Some stores and restaurants were allowed to reopen under the condition that they limited the number of people they would serve. It wasn’t much, but it was huge back then.

Beaches were reopened, too, and I started to go there every day to treat my eyes with some distance after having stared only at screens and walls for such a long time.

One particularly windy day, I skated along the beach promenade and came across a little café. I was sure I had seen it before, but never really taken notice. It was called The Beach Hut, and, to my surprise, it was open. I wasn’t a coffee drinker back then, but, at that moment, seeing an open café was something special, something I wanted to celebrate. So I stopped, put on my face mask, tucked the skateboard under my arm and jumped up the steps to the small porch.

Inside, the café was really tiny. There were only two round tables with a few chairs inside and, outside on the porch, there were only a couple more. The small room was bright, the sunlight reflected off its white walls and illuminated the blue flowers that the tables and the counter were tastefully decorated with. On the walls, there were framed photographs of ocean sunsets.

I stepped to the counter and read the list of items that was displayed in beautiful handwriting on a large chalkboard on the wall. I was so busy trying to remember how choosing and ordering a drink worked that I hadn’t even noticed that there was nobody behind the counter. I was so used to being alone back then.

That’s why I jolted in surprise when somebody stepped through the door behind the counter and greeted me with a good-humored “hello there”. A second later, I stared into the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen.

The man behind the counter smiled at me brightly. I couldn’t see his lips because they were hidden behind a blue face mask, but the welcoming, friendly sparkle in his eyes left no doubt that he was smiling. They were hazel with shades of amber and they cast a spell over me immediately.

He had dark, wavy hair and was a little shorter than me. The tight, white t-shirt he was wearing accentuated his chest and abs. His bare arms were well-defined as well. My eyes wandered to the little name tag on his chest. His name was Blaine.

“How can I help you?” he asked with a friendly voice and I realized that I had probably been staring a little too long. It was incredibly embarrassing.

I ordered a black coffee because my mind had gone blank and it was the first thing I could think of. My intention had been to order a drink to go, but when he asked me if I wanted to enjoy the coffee on the porch, I said yes. I wouldn’t have been capable of saying no to him, no matter what he’d ask me. I also didn’t feel like leaving yet. I had to sneak another look at him and another one after that.

“Please have a seat, I’ll bring you the coffee when it’s done,” he said and I walked back out on the small porch, tore my mask off and breathed, something that I hadn’t done in at least a minute. I took a seat at one of the two tables and let my eyes wander over the ocean. I realized that my heart was beating faster than usual.

I was sitting there in suspense until, only a few minutes later, I heard footsteps on the wooden floor and Blaine appeared with my coffee on a tray. He carefully set the coffee down in front of me, still smiling behind his mask. I allowed myself a quick look at his lower body which I hadn’t been able to see earlier. He was wearing tight jeans that made his strong thighs look stunning. I suddenly started to feel very hot.

I thanked him and forced myself to smile back at him, even though I was running the risk of embarrassing myself further by blushing - something I could’ve easily avoided, hadn’t I taken off the face mask. Stupid me.

I wanted to distract myself from the undeniable attraction I felt for him, so I just started to babble. “I can’t believe I’m about to have a coffee at a café. Something so simple can feel so special these days.”

“I know exactly what you mean,” he replied with a chuckle. “We only just reopened a few days ago. It still feels unreal to be here again and, of course, everything is different now. You’re only our second guest today.”

“Oh wow. That’s crazy. I’ve never been here before, but I bet this place is usually packed.”

Blaine laughed heartily. “That’s true, but considering the size of it, it doesn’t take a lot of people to fill this café. That’s actually what I like about it. I used to work at bigger places, but I like the intimate vibe here.” His eyes were smiling at me again, and I was definitely getting an intimate vibe.

“I can imagine,” I said and wondered if he was hinting at something, or was it just me? I took a sip of my coffee. He still didn’t leave and looked out at the ocean.

I realized that this was a now-or-never situation and tried to keep the conversation going. “Sorry, I must have forgotten my manners after so many weeks of isolation. My name is Elio.”

“Nice to meet you, Elio. I’m Blaine, but you probably read that already.”

“Yeah,” I replied with an embarrassed grin and looked down at my coffee.

“What are you doing? Are you a student?”

“Yeah, I’m studying composition at the university.”

Blaine laughed again. “No way! I used to do the same! But I dropped out and now I’m doing this,” he said with a shrug, pointing at the café. “What instruments are you playing?”

“At school, mainly the piano, but I also enjoy playing the guitar.”

“You gotta be kidding. Me too!” Blaine seemed genuinely excited and I couldn’t believe this was happening. “Do you mind?” he asked and pointed to the other chair at my table. Of course, I didn’t mind and he sat down.

He asked me if I knew this professor or that professor, but it seemed like his time as a student had been over for a while. From what he told me, I figured he was probably in his late twenties.

When I mentioned that I was from Italy, he seemed intrigued and asked me a lot about Europe. He said he was from Ohio, but he made me the center of conversation, not revealing much about himself. Neither did he reveal his face. He kept on the face mask and it was driving me crazy. I wanted to see him, but he didn’t let me. I knew it was for both our safety, but it still bothered me.

I don’t know how long we were chatting, maybe half an hour. Then, unfortunately, another guest walked up to the café, some middle-aged women who seemed to be a regular. She greeted Blaine like an old friend. He stood up, excused himself and went inside with her.

I didn’t know what to do. Would he come back to my table at some point? It didn’t seem like it. The woman had engaged him in a conversation inside and, apparently, they had a lot to tell each other. I felt utterly disappointed.

I finished my coffee and stepped back inside to say goodbye. He smiled at me behind his mask and waved his hand. I waved back, turned around and left, my heart racing again.

* * *

After that first encounter, I couldn’t get Blaine out my mind. It wasn’t just that I kept picturing him in my head, his beautiful eyes and his flawless body. It had also blown my mind that he had once studied the same subject at the same university. We even played the same instruments. He’d seemed interested in me, asking me so many questions. I felt a very special connection to him and I just couldn’t believe that I had just made it up. So I went back.

I went to the Beach Hut almost every day for two or three weeks. I quickly realized that he only worked there four days a week, but I still went on the other days, too, even if I didn’t expect him to be there. I didn’t want to miss any opportunity to see him.

Blaine didn’t sit down at my table again because, most of the time, a few other guests were there, too. But every time I walked up to the counter, his eyes had that affectionate sparkle again and he seemed to be happy to see me. Sometimes, when I scanned the chalkboard menu on the wall for something new, I felt his eyes on me.

One time, I had forgotten my card and paid with cash. When he handed me the change, his fingers touched mine for a split second. It was something that shouldn’t happen in times of a pandemic. But at that moment, this tiny mishap meant the world to me. He looked at me with a hint of embarrassment and mumbled an apology. Don’t apologize, I thought, I wish I could feel these fingers all over my body. I was hoping he’d seen and understood my smile despite my mask.

After several weeks, I still hadn’t seen Blaine’s face because of the mask, but I knew that I had fallen in love. I didn’t care if he had a crooked nose or no teeth or whatever. Every time I got to talk to him over the counter, I could feel a rush of endorphins in my head and my heart beat faster. The frat parties that had been so much fun suddenly felt pointless. Finding Blaine in that little café was the best thing that had happened to me in a long time.

That’s why my world was shattered when I went to the Beach Hut one day and the door was locked. There was a sign saying that they’d had to close down again because of the pandemic. I had stopped following the news because the news had been particularly depressing that year, so I wasn’t really up-to-date. I took out my phone and read about the new lockdown. I was shocked. I stared at the locked door and tried to clear my spinning head.

The café was closed, probably for weeks to come, and I had no idea where Blaine was. I wouldn’t be able to see him anymore. I felt desperate. I felt like crying, but the tears wouldn’t come.

I stepped down the porch and looked around as if Blaine would suddenly appear if I just wished for it hard enough. But he didn’t.

I so regretted not asking him for his number or where he lived, but that was something I hadn’t been capable of. Even though I liked to think so, I didn’t know if he really liked me back. I wasn’t sure if he was into guys and, if he wasn’t, he was probably not interested in a friendship because I was quite a bit younger than him. Asking him if he wanted to spend time together outside of the café had just been too risky and, on top of that, it wasn’t something people did in 2020.

So I stood on the beach and stared at the waves. They looked beautiful, blue as the sky. The sun was shining like on any other summer day in Southern California. And still, everything was different.


	2. Blaine

Back in 2020, my resume was quite remarkable. I was 27 and had achieved nothing. I was a college dropout, failed actor and jobless musician. Do I have to say any more? Alright, but I have to start further back.

I got engaged while I was still in high school. Sure, it was early, but I was a hopeless romantic. Countless dating app flings later, I still am.

Life happened, we broke up, I dropped out of college and moved from New York to Los Angeles, as far away from my past as possible. New coast, new chance.

I moved in with my brother Cooper for a while, who was an aspiring actor at the time. He managed to get me some small acting jobs, too. I was in a few commercials, worked as an extra on some shows and almost scored an actual role in a TV series, but then some other guy got it because he was taller.

My parents believed in my brother’s acting skills, but not in mine, and they reminded me that my gift was music. Even though I had dropped out of a musical theater program before, they were happy to pay horrendous tuition fees for me again, this time for a composition program that I never completed. It just didn’t feel like a good use of my time.

Swiping through photos of bare-chested guys on my phone and meeting them in shady bars felt more like what I needed then. I quickly realized that none of them could replace my ex, but I was young and wildly unsuccessful – which was a new experience for me because, throughout my teenage years, everything I’d touched had turned to gold. I needed to be appreciated somehow and, those guys, they were crazy about me. At least for one night.

After dropping out of college for the second time, my parents refused to give me any more money and Cooper was done with helping me out as well. I started to earn my living by giving voice lessons and playing piano at restaurants, bars and private parties. For the first time in my life, I had to learn to be frugal. I had one suit for work, an old acoustic guitar, my phone and the keys to the apartment I shared with my friend Mae. That was about it.

Mae’s best friend Kelly, who hung out at our place often, was the manager of a restaurant and whenever I needed an extra dime, she made sure I got a job there for a couple of weeks. At some point, I decided that I wanted to buy a used van, for which I needed more money, so I worked at several cafés during the day and played piano at night. In 2019, I was finally able to afford the van. It was high time for that because everything went downhill from there.

* * *

In August of 2019, Tony, a buddy of mine, told me about the Beach Hut, a small café right next to the beach promenade, facing the ocean. It was owned by Tony’s friend Nella who was looking for someone to hire because the tourist season was insane that year. Nella and I hit it off immediately and I got the job. It would turn out to be my favorite job of all because the workplace was just so beautiful.

I got to see all the different moods and colors of the ocean and Nella had done a great job decorating the place with petals and pictures. It felt like a tiny oasis of comfort. I loved the place and I loved the people who came to have a drink, a piece of cake, or just a chat with me. We were open during the winter when the tourists were gone and our regular guests would still visit almost every day. They were like a family to me after my own family, including my brother, had turned their back on me.

When March 2020 came around with its petty virus, I had no idea that I would soon reach the lowest point of my life. Within one single week, I lost my various gigs as a piano player because bars, restaurants and private parties were no more. And, of course, I lost my job at the Beach Hut. Nella had tears in her eyes when she told me that she had to let me go, but she didn’t know when she would be allowed to reopen and she just couldn’t pay me.

That’s when the trouble with my landlord started. I wasn’t able to afford my rent anymore. If it hadn’t been for Mae, we would have already been kicked out then. She saved my ass, but she was pretty much broke as well. I considered selling my van, but I had worked so hard for it and I didn’t have the heart to do so.

During those weeks, Mae and I did what probably most people did at the time. We watched too much TV, wasted too much time online and spent too much time talking about how much life sucked. And we were only at the beginning of the disaster. I also worked out a lot, always hoping that, one day, I would get to meet strangers again who would appreciate my abs.

When Mae learned that her dad had caught the virus and was at the hospital, she decided to go home to Seattle to support her mom. I stayed in the empty apartment and waited for whatever life would throw at me next. I thought it couldn’t get any worse, which was a mistake, but first it got better.

Sometime in early June, I got a call from Nella. She told me that she was going to reopen the café soon and asked me if I wanted to come back. Of course, I needed every cent, but I also knew that working at the café again would, in addition, save my soul. And it did, in ways I could have never imagined.

On the third day after the reopening, we had a problem with the fridge in the back room and I had just finished texting Nella about it when I heard that a guest had entered. It was only the second one that day.

I didn’t want to make them wait and quickly stepped back into the main room to take their order. I had expected one of our regulars, but it was a young man I had never seen before. He was lean and tall and had dark brown curls. He was wearing a face mask, but I’m sure that even without it, his eyes would have been the most noticeable thing about him. I can’t even describe the color, but I can say that, in combination with his well-shaped, elegant eyebrows, they looked gorgeous, vulnerable and so, so kind.

He ordered a coffee and I told him to have a seat outside. I was hoping he’d take off the mask there, so I could see his face. Maybe it was the fact that I hadn’t been with another guy in weeks, but I was feeling giddy with excitement. Maybe it was because I’d noticed that the way he’d looked at me was different from our other guests. When I prepared his coffee, I almost burnt my hand.

I brought his cup outside on a tray and it had never been so hard not to spill anything. My hands were shaking a little, especially when I reached the porch and saw that he had taken off the mask.

He wasn’t the sexiest guy I’d ever seen, but he was easily the most handsome. His face was simply beautiful. It was so aesthetically pleasing, it looked as if it had been drawn by one of those portrait painters from the Gilded age. I was glad Nella had asked me to wear the mask at all times because if I blushed, and I think I did, he wasn’t able to see it.

We started a conversation and he told me his name was Elio. What a name. It sounded like orange blossoms and olive trees. I sat down with him, holding my distance. His face was too handsome to look away.

And then, on top of it all, he told me that he was studying composition at my old university. I do believe in fate and that day was one of the reasons why. There was just no other explanation for this encounter.

I seized the opportunity to learn as much about him as possible. He was from Italy, had an American dad and spoke at least four languages. Part of me thought that he was probably the typical rich kid whose life revolved around frat parties, alcohol and meaningless sex. My prejudices against twenty-year-olds were based on bad experiences, that’s why I usually preferred the company of men older than myself.

But I sensed that there was a lot more to Elio. Considering the way he talked, I could tell that he wasn’t as shallow as some of the other younger guys I’d dated. The vulnerability and kindness I had seen in his eyes were mirrored in his words and gestures. I had never met a stranger who had seemed so sincere in a random conversation.

“Why did you choose to study composition?” I asked him.

He smiled at me warily as if I had asked a trick question. “Because I’m good at it? Because music helps me cope with life’s challenges? Isn’t it the same for everybody who studies music?”

“I guess,” I said with a chuckle. It had probably been a dumb question. “What do you want to do when you’re done?”

“I’d like to rock concert halls around the world as a solo pianist, of course.” Judging by his grin, I could tell that he was joking and had probably no idea what to do with his life. “What did you want to do?”

“Ugh. I wanted to write the score for a Disney movie. Never gonna happen, I suppose.” It sounded ridiculous, even to my own ears.

“Have you given up on music?” Elio gave me a concerned look.

“Not really. I usually play piano at restaurants and weddings almost every night. That is, when we’re not in the middle of a pandemic. But don’t worry, I have no ambitions to be your rival on the big stage.”

“You seem to be way ahead of me if you’re earning money with making music. I’m currently paying for it. Well, my parents are.”

He lowered his gaze and seemed to be embarrassed about that fact. The expression on his face was adorable. I could have listened to him for hours.

When I had to leave him because Mrs. Cortez showed up, I was as disappointed as I was relieved. I wanted to look at his face forever, but, at the same time, I knew that I had to stop myself right there and then. He was probably bad news, just like all the other twenty-year-olds. Or worse, maybe he was only nineteen.

Still, when he said goodbye, I felt desperate. I wanted to ask him for his number, but Mrs. Cortez was so happy about our reopening that she didn’t stop talking. It was probably for the best, I thought.

But Elio came back the next day and the day after that. Nella told me that he came and asked for me on my days off as well. I didn’t see his face again because work got busier. I didn’t have time to hang out with him on the porch anymore and he was wearing the face mask inside. But I got to see his kind eyes which was more than I could have hoped for.

When he realized that I didn’t have time for him anymore, he started to order his coffee to go. One morning, I decided to write my phone number on the paper cup for him. I set the cup aside and waited. He came. And I didn’t dare give him the cup. I used a new one instead.

I put the cup with the number on a shelf under the counter and there it sat for days and days while I didn’t allow myself to make a move. It was so obvious that he came back to the café for me, but we were in the middle of a pandemic. You didn’t just hook up with guys.

My thoughts were zigzagging through my head. Maybe Elio wouldn’t just be a hookup – still, he was too young. But he did seem mature for his age – sure, but I had enough problems trying to stay afloat those days and a distraction would have been counterproductive.

Elio was a talented kid with a bright future, I was a failed fool who was close to becoming a hobo. I just couldn’t give him the paper cup.

And a few weeks later, it was too late. Nella called and told me she had to close the café again. At that point, I knew that we would lose the apartment. Even worse, I wouldn’t get to see Elio anymore. Just because I hadn’t given him the goddamn paper cup.

* * *

Not much later, I hit rock bottom. Mae told me that she would have to stay with her family for a while because her father was still in a bad state of health. When we couldn’t pay our rent anymore, our landlord kicked us out and Kelly came to get Mae’s stuff.

Kelly knew I was desperate for a job, but she didn’t have one for me either. The restaurant was only allowed to offer takeout and delivery and she was barely able to pay the few remaining employees she hadn’t been forced to let go.

“What are you going to do now?” Kelly asked me when the apartment was empty.

I shrugged. “Turns out it wasn’t a bad idea to keep my van. My mattress fits in it perfectly. I just have to find a place to take a shower every once in a while and to charge my laptop.”

“Oh Blaine, I’m so sorry,” she said and looked like she was going to cry. “I’m sure Derek wouldn’t mind if you crashed on our couch for a while.”

“Thanks, but I don’t wanna be a third wheel. I bet you’re busy with your little girl, too. Don’t worry, I’ll get by.” Although I didn’t know how.

“Well, let me know if you need anything. My door is always open for you, also at the restaurant. Just drop by if you have to charge your laptop or need a snack. I’m not gonna hug you ‘cause, you know, I shouldn’t these days, but I want you to know that I’m there for you. It’s bad enough that I can’t do anything for Mae.” The look on her face almost moved me to tears. She was an angel.

“Don’t you worry about me,” I said with a smile that was supposed to comfort her, but I’m pretty sure she saw that, deep down, I was a mess.

The first couple weeks of van life were the worst. I didn’t know where to go to do the simplest everyday things. Maybe it hadn’t been that bad without the lockdown. I couldn’t shower at the gym because gyms were closed, so I secretly used the ones at the beach. Of course, the beach was closed as well, but, early in the mornings, nobody saw me. I couldn’t go to a café or mall to charge my phone and laptop, so I took up Kelly’s offer and did that at the restaurant. She also let me use their WiFi.

I spent almost all the money I had left on food and gas. At some point, I considered calling my parents or my brother, but I wasn’t _that_ desperate yet. I looked for jobs everywhere, but I wasn’t the only one looking. There was nothing to do for me, which had never happened to me before.

No job, no money, no home – I had a lot to worry about. Sometimes, I just lay on my mattress in the van, parked on some random parking lot, and tried to daydream myself away.

I dreamed of Elio. I didn’t even really know him, but I thought I did and I missed him. I was glad, though, that he didn’t see me like that. I would have been embarrassed. I thought back to the days at high school when I’d been something like a star singer. Everyone had thought I’d make it big, including myself.


	3. Elaine

Naive as I was back then, I thought that 2020 couldn’t turn into even more of a shitshow and yet it did. Losing Blaine due to the second lockdown was only one catastrophe of many. Wildfires were consuming California like bloodthirsty wolves, the White House had become the epicenter of terror, and, on a related note, America was demonstrating once again that racism was still sucking on its soul like a leech. Do I even have to mention that the virus was completely out of control on top of everything?

The longer I lived in the States, the more European I felt. For the first time in my life, I was homesick. Moving to California to study seemed like the biggest mistake of my life. I was pretty sure that I would drop out of school eventually and I felt like a failure in a failed country. 

After a while, the shining light called Blaine that had lit up my life for a few weeks in the summer felt like an extremely pleasant fever dream. He seemed so far away and the worst thing was that he was probably somewhere around the corner. I pictured him in one of the shiny, new apartments near the beach, living with a golden retriever and a surfboard, occasionally looking out of the window to see if a curly, skinny guy was passing by on his skateboard. 

I knew it was wishful thinking, but I still kept looking at every window I passed hoping to see Blaine’s face in one of them. A face I hadn’t even seen without a face mask. 

In a twist of fate, I got to see Blaine again in a window - albeit a very different kind of window.

In September, classes started again. Instead of going back to campus, I had to sit down in front of my laptop to participate in online courses that were neither fun nor did they teach me anything. I was especially dreading the piano lessons via video chat. Not only were they incredibly ineffective and frustrating, I had also been assigned a new piano teacher. I would have to go through the whole hassle of getting to know them again, just to eventually learn that they didn’t like my style.

All I knew about the new teacher was that their username was  _ b.anderson _ . I expected a Britney or a Bethany or a Brendan who would bore me with stories about how the pandemic had affected  _ their _ life and how the piano was helping  _ them _ to play the pain away.

The first session was supposed to start at noon on a Thursday, and I had prepared by drinking a can of beer right after breakfast, hoping it would make me appear friendlier. 

I had set up the laptop next to the keyboard and played a few notes to warm up. At noon, b.anderson hadn’t signed in yet and I was already annoyed. After ten more minutes of waiting, I decided to get another beer. I was about to get up when b.anderson appeared and the video call button started to blink. 

I took a deep breath and clicked on it.

When I saw his face in the video chat window, my heart must have stopped for several seconds. It took my brain an awfully long time to make sense of what was happening. It wasn’t that I didn’t recognize him. I immediately knew that it was him. I would have recognized his eyes in a sea of millions.

“Elio,” he said and tore me out of my trance. He had a smile on his face that shone brighter than a thousand suns. 

I wasn’t able to answer. My brain was still trying to process how incredibly handsome his face was. And that smile.

“Blaine?” I made his name sound like a question. I think he understood that I actually wanted to ask how on earth he had ended up on the other side of that video chat, but he chose to ignore that question.

“I have to admit that I considered wearing the mask because I thought you wouldn’t recognize me without it,” he said with a cheeky grin.

“Uh, no, I did recognize you and... uh... I’m actually glad to finally see you without it. That is, I’m just glad to see you again because I was afraid that I... I wouldn’t see you again,” I stammered. I realized that I hadn’t even smiled at him yet because I was still completely amazed. I tried to relax and show him how happy I was about the surprise. It looked as if he blushed a bit when he saw me smile into the camera, but maybe it was just the lighting. “How have you been?”

“Uff... Uhm... Things have been interesting. Every day is different and pretty exciting. I can’t complain,” Blaine said with a slight hesitation. I could tell that something was off. I realized that I might have had the wrong idea about him. He was probably not living in one of these shiny, new apartments by the beach. 

“Are you sitting in a car?” I asked without thinking and, this time, I could tell that he really blushed.

“Yeah, I actually am. I spend a lot of time in my van these days. Driving around keeps me creative. What about you? I see you have a nice keyboard. I guess that’s actually what I’m supposed to talk to you about. And I really should do that since I can’t afford to lose this job.” I couldn’t tell if he was serious or joking. Probably both in a way.

“I’d much rather just chat,” I let him know. Or at least just look at his beautiful face. I had secretly started to take screenshots. That was sneaky and I do feel bad about that now. I think I still have them somewhere.

“I think you should play at least one piece, so we can pretend that I’m teaching you something,” he replied with a laugh. 

I played an impromptu by Schubert and kept my eyes glued to the screen, which might have impacted my performance in one way or the other, but I didn’t care. I didn’t want to waste a second of the most precious video call of my life.

I swear that he teared up. I swear he did. It made my heart jump in my chest and I missed more than one note, but I didn’t care because I wasn’t missing him anymore.

When I had finished, he rubbed his eyes and told me that there was no shame in looking at your hands while playing every once in a while. I just nodded and grinned at him. I couldn’t stop grinning anymore.

“Where are you?” I finally asked him. 

He hesitated. “I’m in a parking lot... the parking lot of my friend’s restaurant.”

“How far from the Beach Hut?”

“About ten minutes, I guess.”

My heart started to beat faster. “You know, my dad pays a lot of tuition to that school and I think I deserve  _ actual _ piano lessons. Video calls aren’t really doing it for me,” I told him and bit my lower lip in anticipation. “It’s just a five-minute drive to my house from the Beach Hut.”

Blaine laughed heartily. “Now you’re being bratty. There’s a raging pandemic out there and the school still manages to provide a full schedule of classes, even private ones... taught by a teacher who doesn’t even have a college degree.” The grin on his face was simultaneously playful and apologetic.

“But I’m sure I could still learn a lot from you. That’s why I think it would be best if you came to my place.” My heart was pounding by then. I don’t think I had any idea what I was doing. I just knew that I was very close to actually seeing him again and I couldn’t miss that chance.

Blaine let out a chuckle. “You shouldn’t be inviting sketchy strangers to your home, especially not in times of a pandemic.”

I didn’t know if he was being serious. “I’ve been living like a hermit for months now. I can almost guarantee you that I don’t have that disease. No, I can’t, nobody can. But it’s really unlikely and... I really want to see you.”

He stared at the screen for a while and seemed to consider my idea. He finally smiled and closed his eyes. When he opened them again, there was a captivating flicker in them. “Okay,” he said in a low tone, a coy smile on his lips.

I gave him my address and we ended the call soon after. When his face had disappeared from the screen, I sat there for a minute or two and tried to grasp what was happening. 

_ Clean up _ , a voice suddenly yelled inside my head. I jumped up, raced through the apartment, hectically shoved the dirty clothes under my bed and stuffed the used dishes back into the cupboard. Somehow, I was able to hide away most of the chaos in my apartment  _ and _ put on nicer clothes in only ten minutes. Thankfully, I had already showered that morning, which was definitely something I didn’t do every day in 2020.

I was buttoning up my fresh shirt and checking my face in the mirror when the doorbell rang.

* * *

You can say what you want about homo sapiens, but they have at least one talent, and that’s the capability of adapting to almost every situation the world throws at them. After several weeks of van life, it felt almost normal not to live in an apartment. 

Seeing other people living on the streets, I came to realize that my van was actually a luxury that most of them didn’t have. I also had the luxury of knowing Kelly who kept giving me free food from the restaurant. 

Maybe I was also able to stay optimistic because I didn’t read the news. Instead, I kept myself busy writing songs about a beautiful stranger. Writing applications wasn’t getting me anywhere, so I spent a lot of my time with my guitar.

And then, one day, I got the call. 

Cole, my former professor, called me out of the blue and asked me how I was doing. I think he knew exactly how I was doing and that was the whole point of his call. We had been close at some point to say the least. He was a good guy.

“I was hoping you could help me out,” he said after a few minutes of catching up. “Do you have some spare time on your hands?”

He knew pretty well I did.

“You know, one of our piano teachers just quit on me two weeks before the start of the quarter. Would you be interested in giving a few private lessons? It’s all on the internet these days, so it doesn’t even matter where you are.”

I didn’t know what to say. I was positive that he was joking. “Cole... I don’t even have a degree, remember? I don’t think you can hire me.”

“Oh, don’t worry. Your broad professional experience is more than enough for you to qualify. I saw you play at that Italian restaurant earlier this year. What’s it called?  _ Cucina di _ ... something. Anyways, you were fantastic and I meant to say hello, but the wine was a little too good. Once the second bottle was empty, you were already gone. But I’ve wanted to call you ever since. I’m feeling bad for doing that now that I’m asking you for something, but I figured that you may be interested because the restaurants are closed, you know.”

When Cole offered me the job, I didn’t even make the connection. I was just so excited about the offer that it didn’t even cross my mind that I would get something other than money out of it.

He asked me to send him a formal application, which I did the same day. Soon after, I got a contract and a list of students. The students were split up in four groups, each assigned to a different teacher. I scanned the names in my group and didn’t recognize any. 

I almost closed the document on my laptop, when my eyes caught sight of a name in one of the other groups that made my mind go haywire instantly.  _ Elio Perlman _ .

I mulled it over all day long and I came to the conclusion that I would never forgive myself if I didn’t at least try. I called Cole and asked him if Elio could be in my group. Did I mention that he’s a good guy? He didn’t even ask me why. 

Only three days later, I was standing in front of a terracotta-colored house with blue shutters. My heart was hammering when I rang the doorbell. He buzzed me in only a few seconds later. I don’t think I had ever been that nervous in my life, definitely haven’t been since.

I raced up the stairs to the second floor and, just like that, I was standing in front of him. 

I’ll never forget the smile on his beautiful face. He was beaming like a lighthouse in the rough storm that my life had become. For a moment, I forgot everything that had happened. All that mattered was his smile. It was sincere and perfect and just for me.

We must have been standing there for at least a minute, just staring at each other like the fools we were, willingly trapped in a magical moment.

“Do you wanna come in?” he asked eventually. 

I followed him into the apartment, straight to his room. He stood next to his keyboard and pointed at the stool in front of it. “Show me how it’s done, Mr. Anderson,” he said with a provocative smile that made me giddy with excitement. He’d called me Mr. Anderson.

I sat down, still not able to keep my eyes off him. “What do you want me to play?” I asked.

“Something you wrote.”

I couldn’t think clearly. I couldn’t remember anything I’d written, so I improvised. Whenever I looked at him, he was still smiling. 

He made me play for at least an hour. He was sitting on his bed, watching me the entire time. 

“Your turn,” I said eventually and got up. “I thought I’m here to teach you something, not to entertain you.”

“Alright, Mr. Anderson,” he replied with a cheeky smile. I think he was really excited about having learned my last name.

As Elio played, I was leaning against the wall next to him, my eyes jumping back and forth between his flawless face and his long, elegant fingers and the keys. 

That day, I completely failed as a teacher. I got entirely lost in his performance. Thankfully, he didn’t care.

Afterwards, we sat down in his kitchen. He gave me a beer, the first one I’d had in weeks, and we talked for hours. It almost felt like that day at the café when we first met, just better. We had found each other a second time and, this time, I just knew it was meant to last.

I felt incredibly embarrassed when my living situation came up. I told him the truth and he looked as if he’d seen a ghost. He immediately told me to stay at his place. His roommate wasn’t coming back anytime soon, he said.

I told him that I couldn’t, but who was I kidding? We ended up ordering pizza and I crashed on the couch in his kitchen. I really don’t know how we managed to stay apart that night, but we did. I was so in awe of him, I didn’t dare make a move. Maybe he was feeling the same.

On the second day, I almost missed a virtual piano lesson with one of the other students. While I was listening and talking to the student on Elio’s laptop at his desk, he was lying on his bed with a book, making faces every time the student fucked up a note. It was a nightmare for me. The poor student must have thought that I was laughing at her, not knowing that it was Elio who cracked me up with his silliness again and again. It wasn’t exactly my proudest moment as a teacher and I was hoping that she wouldn’t report my unprofessional behavior. I tried to make up for it by paying very nice compliments and decided I would move the laptop to the kitchen for the next lesson.

After ending the video call, I got up from the desk and stood in front of Elio with my hands on my hips. “You disrupted the class, young man.”

“My pleasure,” he said with a grin, grabbed my right hand and pulled me onto the bed. The next thing I knew, I was on top of Elio looking into his stunning eyes. 

“You really want me to lose this job, don’t you?” I asked with a chuckle, my heart racing.

“I won’t tell anyone,” he whispered with a seductive smile on his perfect lips. He knew that he had me under his spell. 

Elio buried his right hand in my hair and pulled me closer until our lips barely touched. I closed my eyes and suddenly felt his tongue tease my lips. I opened my mouth a little and he accepted the invitation. While our lips and tongues explored each other, I realized that I had already lost my heart to him.

We kissed for what felt like hours and I almost missed the other piano lessons that I was supposed to give that day. 

That night, we had a candlelight dinner in Elio’s kitchen. It was pizza and beer again, but I’d never been on a date that had felt more romantic. Afterwards, we cuddled up on his bed and watched a movie. It was hard to pay attention because he kept teasing me with his hand on my thigh. It was driving me crazy.

I had foolishly thought that Elio might want to take things slow, but I didn’t know him very well back then. Halfway through the movie, he started to kiss me. He had soon opened my pants and slipped his hands inside them. With the other hand, he pulled my shirt off.

Soon, we were both naked and he kept kissing me all over my body. I had never felt that desired before. He made me feel like he wanted every inch of me. It was more than a much-needed boost for my self-confidence. It was the beginning of something amazing.

When his lips arrived at my crotch and he started to lick up and down my cock, I felt an intense feeling of pleasure rush through me. It only intensified when he took me inside his mouth and started to move his head back and forth. The feeling of his smooth, wet lips and tongue gliding along my skin was so insanely good that I didn’t last long. In my defense, I hadn’t had sex in quite a while. 

I returned the favor and realized that pleasuring him was just as pleasurable to me as what he’d done to me earlier. His taste and the feeling of his skin were addictive.

Afterwards, he fell asleep lying in my arms. He still does that sometimes and it always reminds me of our first night together. 

I stayed with Elio until the lockdown was over. Although we barely left the apartment, every day with him was different and exciting. We even learned to cook a few proper meals together.

When I had saved up enough money to get my own apartment again, he didn’t want to let me go and I was more than happy to stay. I don’t even remember if his roommate ever showed up again.

Eventually, the pandemic nightmare of 2020 was over. It didn’t end on New Year’s Eve and it didn’t end the month after. But it slowly faded and I got several of my jobs back. I continued to work at the Beach Hut until Elio graduated from college. 

We left for Italy soon after. I didn’t feel like I was leaving anything behind in California, except Kelly, Nella and the Beach Hut. 

That café changed my life. Without it, I wouldn’t have met Elio. But I also wouldn’t have met him without the first lockdown. He wouldn’t have stopped for that coffee on a normal day.

2020 changed my life. That year pushed me to the floor and punched me in the face more than once. And then it sent me a cheeky, handsome, talented young man called Elio to pick me up again. 

Everything happens for a reason, they say. Whenever I look at him, I fully understand what that means. 

I’m looking at him right now. 


End file.
